We constantly talk to ourselves about everything and everybody. Fortunately, at this stage in life, unlike little children, most of us have learned that a lot of our inner chatter (self-talk aka that little voice inside our heads) is best kept to ourselves. I think of self-talk or these two opposing voices in our mind as the wolf and the protector.

(Scientists report that the brain works on three levels to create awareness: The conscious mind governs awareness of the present and helps in determining right and wrong. It communicates with the outside world and the inner self. The subconscious mind accounts for 50% of the brain’s capabilities and deals with memory. It is in continuous contact with the unconscious mind. The unconscious mind is where our beliefs are stored. It drives behavior through individual thoughts and feelings, instinctual desires, and things we can’t easily access. Source:Self-Talk & Your Unconscious Mind | ninakhoo.com)

I was surrounded by family growing up. So, during the holidays, more than any other time of the year, I’m conscious of the obvious disconnect in countless family relationships today. 

Consequently, I have profound respect for a woman I know who, to maintain the bond of love and support among her immediate family, from grandchildren to the adults, regularly convenes family meetings to address confusion that may potentially weaken their bond. 

I’ve struggled with many aspects of my life. However, my husband has been a blessing. Of course, he’s not perfect. But he is damn good. He’s usually forward-thinking, open-minded and direct, generous, mature, affectionate, responsible, honest, respectful — and he still makes me laugh. An added bonus is his unwavering compassion for Black folks.
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