 Can you believe it! The continuing feasts and holiday celebrations will soon be over, and the year 2020 will be here. I generally become more introspective or self-analyzing during this time with more questions than answers. For instance, how does this relate to time overall? Well, 2020 is the 20th year of the third millennium (a millennium equals 1,000 years), the 20th year of the 21st Century (a century means 100 years), and the first year of the decade of the 2020s.
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 We constantly talk to ourselves about everything and everybody. Fortunately, at this stage in life, unlike little children, most of us have learned that a lot of our inner chatter (self-talk aka that little voice inside our heads) is best kept to ourselves. I think of self-talk or these two opposing voices in our mind as the wolf and the protector.
(Scientists report that the brain works on three levels to create awareness: The conscious mind governs awareness of the present and helps in determining right and wrong. It communicates with the outside world and the inner self. The subconscious mind accounts for 50% of the brain’s capabilities and deals with memory. It is in continuous contact with the unconscious mind. The unconscious mind is where our beliefs are stored. It drives behavior through individual thoughts and feelings, instinctual desires, and things we can’t easily access. Source:Self-Talk & Your Unconscious Mind | ninakhoo.com)  Few days go by without hearing someone complain about the loss of time with comments like ‘where did the time go or if I only had more time’.
Each of us may think about the passage of time differently. When I was young, I had too much time, and it seemed that I waited forever for summer vacations, my birthdays, or favorite holidays. But with age, these milestones fly by. I was surrounded by family growing up. So, during the holidays, more than any other time of the year, I’m conscious of the obvious disconnect in countless family relationships today.
Consequently, I have profound respect for a woman I know who, to maintain the bond of love and support among her immediate family, from grandchildren to the adults, regularly convenes family meetings to address confusion that may potentially weaken their bond. Periodically, I receive calls /emails from both men and women lamenting their loneliness. Keep in mind that loneliness is an emotion. Isolation is a circumstance. Navigating this maze toward sustained independence requires adapting to the new normal for successful aging.
You don’t have to be alone to be lonely. Additionally, I’ve learned that for many this situation is self-imposed by those who choose to disconnect and not communicate with family, acquaintances or friends without fully evaluating the negative emotions and physical consequences of their choice along with the fears, low self-esteem, and depression that may result. I’ve struggled with many aspects of my life. However, my husband has been a blessing. Of course, he’s not perfect. But he is damn good. He’s usually forward-thinking, open-minded and direct, generous, mature, affectionate, responsible, honest, respectful — and he still makes me laugh. An added bonus is his unwavering compassion for Black folks.
It’s that time again, time to gather with those we love and repeat the valued traditions that affirm who we are, who we belong to and what is genuinely important.
African Americans have always honored the traditions of family, food, song and spirituality. So Thanksgiving and Christmas are ripe with memories that bridge our past to the present. Traditions bind families and friends, creating a connectedness that transitions even life itself. Experts say that it is also during these activities that family beliefs and values are transferred as children witness the importance of friendship, unity and sharing. |
AuthorLinda Jackson Cocroft Archives
November 2019
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